I carry it.

I carry it. In this life. I carry it every minute of every day. I carry it while I sleep, my dreams are proof. I carry it when I wake up, it’s heaviness on top of me as I climb out of bed. I carry it when I make my coffee, I pick cups I knew you used. I carry it when walk around our house, the constant reminders of your life in every nook. I carry it when I leave, I see your car in the driveway. I carry it when I drive, roads I know you used. I carry it when I see our friends and family, the lives we all shared as a community. I carry it in my heart, even though half of it left with you. I carry the pain, the loss, the void and along with it, I carry you. Your face, your laugh, your wit, your charm, your smile, your voice and all your love.

This doesn’t get easier. The pain is just as sharp as the day you left. I am just more accustomed to carrying its weight. Sometimes I trip and fall with it though. So, here I am. Flat on the ground. My soul screaming the same as that morning. I miss you Truman. Your momma wants you back. 💔