Truman Rocks 🪨

I’ve started hitting the trails again. I once found extreme joy in it. I planned hikes for women, gathered them, drove them and guided them, sometimes in the wrong direction, through the woods. It was always such a good time. Lots of awesome memories! After Truman died I have struggled to get back to anything. I mostly struggle with things from my old life. The life we all had. The fairytale most people live that haven’t experienced severe trauma and the loss of a child. We have gotten thrown into a horror movie and can’t ever shut it off. I’ve always hated scary movies and now my life is one. Trying to figure out the best way to navigate this new shitty life and make the most of what is left, I have tried to resume a few “ordinary” tasks. I don’t find joy yet but I hope I’m on the right path, headed in the direction best for my family. I put Truman rocks on every trail in hopes that his name will still be in the world. That people will say it, learn a bit about who he was and offer support to those struggling.

Most of the rocks have a tidbit of info about Truman and one had suicide info on it. I didn’t like to put that on every rock because suicide is not who Truman was. I don’t want everything linked to him like that. I want people to know who he was BUT a hike or two back I received a message from a girl who lives in Southern California. What are the odds that she found the one rock that had suicide info, what are the odds she would go to Racehorse creek when she was in town of all places, crawl up on a stump to see the rock, turn it over to read it’s little story…. Here’s her message-

“Hi tanna! Firstly, i am so sorry for your loss, there really are no words. Secondly I wanted to reach out because I found your rock on the racehorse trail this morning (forgot to take a photo because honestly I was so moved and was crying), I have lost three friends over the years to suicide, and I myself am a survivor, and during my recovery have tried to make sense of it all and figure out how to give back.

What you are doing is truly amazing, you are an incredible human being and I am sending nothing but love. Thank you so much for being a light when things a dark. I was having a really rough past month and relapsed Into old patterns, and took this trip with old friends and then randomly stumbled upon your Truman rock and started crying.

Thank you so much. And again I am so sorry for your loss”

For the first time in 2 1/2 months I found a slight glimmer of hope. Hope that I am on the right path. Part of me never wants one positive thing to come from Truman dying, but since we are here, my dream is to help make this world a world where if Truman were still alive, he could survive. Change what I can about this world so that he would feel like he fit.

-Truman’s mom 💙💞💙

Now others have asked to take Truman rocks, which I love and they have made it all the way to Mexico and all the way to Alaska!